Tag Archives: Whole Foods

Kim Kardashian Lawsuit

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I am concerned about the precedent set by the historic Female Employees vs. Walmart lawsuit, which was recently thrown out of court for being too big to move forward. You see, that lawsuit was but a fraction of the size of the countersuit that I am currently assembling: Pretty Much All of Us vs. Kim Kardashian.

AKIE BERMISS: I agree with Molly whole-heartedly. I’ve signed on as a plantiff: Kim Kardashian makes my blood boil. But not in the sex-crazed dude way that everyone is still convinced she must. Rather, I find her a trying on-television celebrity. Too right, Molly, she has no discernible talent. And, honestly, no discernible skill. As long as what is discernible is the reality at hand, I think we have a water-tight case.

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Cheese Debate: Delicious or Disgusting?

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: I have a love/hate relationship with cheese. I love to eat it, but I hate how it settles into and amplifies my beer gut. And, just as I don’t see myself going off the sauce anytime soon, I cannot imagine quitting the cheese.

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I love cheese, with the deep, meaningful kind of passion that is reserved only for things that can be digested. After all, I love my fiancé too, but I don’t get to eat a plate of him with crackers at the end of a long hard day—and frankly, more’s the pity.

AKIE BERMISS: I don’t pretend I’m not a finicky eater. I am. If something is too mushy or too hard or too salty or too bland, and I have the option of turning it down: I will. I do not mess around. I only get to eat about twice a day and usually one of those is on the go to or from somewhere. I’ve had enough meals in my car, parked in a lot, to know the shame of scarfing down a fast food burger, fries, and a soda. I’ve eaten at highway rest stops and 4-star restaurants. I’m something of a food vagabond because I never really know where the next meal is coming from. And, as such, I consider myself to be the Foodie equivalent of a “prole” (see: 1984, Orwell). Still, I can be a downright bastard when it comes to eating things I don’t like. People who are fond of me call me: persnickety. Everyone else calls me a pain in the ass.

Well, be that as it may, at the top of my Hated Foods list is the world’s favorite: cheese.

DAVE TOMAR: There’s a special place in my heart for cheese. According to my cardiologist, the scientific name for that place is ‘the right ventricle.’ I was told that if I don’t cut down on my cheese intake, there is a good chance that my blood could coagulate, forming what I suspect will be a delectable soft camembert best served on crostini with fresh cranberry chutney and crushed walnuts. Continue reading

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Whole Foods

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: No longer just a patronizing corporation with a moral-superiority complex, Whole Foods is showing that it cares enough about its employees to do what it can to lower its company healthcare costs.

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: Whole Foods CEO John Mackey seems to have forgotten that people come in all shapes and sizes, that things like blood pressure and cholesterol are sometimes hereditary, and that even smokers might like to purchase their avocados at a greater discount. Continue reading

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