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Tag Archives: Ted Berg’s hair
In Briefs: Hangovers
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Just curious, in TPP staff opinion, what form of booze causes the worst hangovers? I recall hearing that clear liquors like vodka were not as bad as brown liquors like bourbon. I seem to get worse red wine hangovers than white. I kind of wonder if there’s a science to this, or it’s all hearsay.
TED BERG: The worst hangovers on note are caused by Towne Club Vodka, exclusively available at Towne Liquors on Wisconsin Ave. in DC.
DAVE TOMAR: Any tequila from a plastic bottle. I spent a night with Cactus Jack once. I vomited so hard that I burst the blood vessels around my eyes. Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Akie Bermiss, Dark & Stormy, Dave Tomar, Drinking, gin, hangovers, Jillian Lovejoy Lowery, liquor, Martini, Negroni, Ruble Vodka, Ted Berg, Ted Berg's hair, Towne Club Vodka, vodka
1 Comment
Sperm Banks
TED BERG: I’m not going to lie: I’ve always been a bit intrigued by sperm banks. I mean, they pay you… for that?
Apparently. And I’m not sure exactly what the qualifications are, nor whether I meet them, but I can guarantee you this much: I’ve got no ethical hangups about the ramifications of donating my seed to a sperm bank. Zero. I’m no Kirk Maxey.
DAVE TOMAR: I admit, the idea of a super-army of Ted Bergs is extremely compelling. I guess I’m just worried that my inbred mutant progeny could be exploited for the purposes of evil. I’m pretty sure that’s how they make Mouseketeers. There are like 60 Jonas Brothers and they just replace them whenever one gets ugly, overdoses on Meth or runs off to join a Satanic cult. I wouldn’t want my genetic stamp on that kind of putrescent human misery. Continue reading