Tag Archives: marriage

Rules of Dating

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: Here’s the thing about rules – I don’t really buy into them. I think that everything is circumstantial, so while it’s good to have general guidelines, I don’t cling to anything as law, and I won’t allow someone else’s ideology to dictate my behavior. And this is why I think Millionaire Matchmaker’s Patti Stanger’s first date rules are kind of bullshit.

AKIE BERMISS: When it comes to dating, I’ve been told I’m an outlier and that conventional stories don’t apply to me. Fair enough — that is likely true. But I pretty much disagree with any attempt by anyone to say that there are “rules” for a first date. There are so many areas of our day-to-day lives that are governed by rules and regulations and guidelines. Must we include the search for love among those? Must we carefully edit ourselves in order to seem more desirable to prospective significant others? I don’t buy it. Especially when it is aimed at women — who have historically been the group most regulated in how they approach love and romance. Continue reading

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Having Stuff Vs. Doing Stuff

AKIE BERMISS: I resent the frequent assertion that buying “experiences” gives more lasting satisfaction than buying “things.” While it makes sense from a pop-pysch stand point (wouldn’t we all like to believe that its the experiences that matter and not what we own) I think its a load of crap. To paraphrase the song, give me the finer things in life — and I’ll be happy.

CHRIS PUMMER: Your happiness is probably related to your quality of life. My iPod certainly improves my quality of life. Continue reading

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The Seven-Week Itch

The following is a reader-submitted orphaned opinion.


JOHN CHRISTIAN HOPKINS: Sara and I are in our seventh week of marriage, and I’m sure many people are wondering…

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Maiden Names

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: During the last few months I’ve begun to consider the question of whether or not to take my fiance’s last name when we marry. It’s proven to be a much more complicated issue than I ever would have expected, and there are no easy answers. Continue reading

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Cousin Marriage

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY:Look, if you want to marry your cousin, I certainly won’t judge you for it — provided your cousin wants to marry you, too, and is able to legally consent to said union. I frankly don’t care who most people marry, provided they’re happy. If marrying your cousin’s something that you really want to do, have at it.

AKIE BERMISS: Like Jillian, I think its fair for people to do whatever they want with themselves. On a certain level, I think that love is as love does. If all the advances of modern science where genetics and social mores are concerned don’t deter you: do you. And do you cousin too, I guess.

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Marriage Expectations

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I sometimes wonder whether a lot of people have extremely high expectations for their romantic relationships, which may be contributing to the higher divorce rate. I’m not going to say that there aren’t a LOT of other factors contributing to it. But I kind of feel like movies and television shows have given us weird skewed expectations/unrealistic ideas about what marriages should be like. Plus, when you get right down to it, people don’t like to talk about their marriages a lot in my experience.

EMILY SAIDEL: I propose that that the gap between relationship fantasy and relationship reality is new, in the sense of the last hundred years, and that it is linked to the proliferation of mass media. Continue reading

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MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Monogamy is unrealistic! People need variety! Life is like a sexy salad bar. We get sick of hard boiled eggs after awhile—we want to try carrots.

AKIE BERMISS: Gentlemen, it is a fine cause to take up the argument against monogamy. I understand, I dig it, I commiserate: I’m with you. But, also, I don’t really think there’s much of an argument there. Well, I think its important that I state, out front, that I am a one-woman man. That is, I’ve never really gone in for polygamy. As a matter of personal taste. I can hardly keep up with one person in a romantic or sexual context, let alone several. Continue reading

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Texting: The New Intimacy/Breakdown in Society

(To the tune of “There’s Nothing Like a Dame”): There’s nothing like a text! Nothing in the world.

HOWARD MEGDAL: With the advent of text messaging, all other human communication can be described as superfluous at best and at worst,…

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