Tag Archives: Akie Bermiss

Trayvon Martin Thoughts

//

AKIE BERMISS: By now the Trayvon Martin movement has become something of a mainstream story.  I doubt there is an American who watches the news that doesn’t yet know all about the Florida shooting of…

Posted in News & Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Community vs. 30 Rock

AKIE BERMISS: I was an early adopter of Community. It debuted when I still had cable and I still watched television live. But it was one of the last shows I did that with. Increasingly, as a man pushing thirty, I’ve found new television shows have very little to offer me. I don’t get excited by reality shows — the pseudo-drama just doesn’t do it for me — and, being a professional singer and vocal teacher, I can’t stand shows like American Idol or The Voice. So I was finding myself marginalized more and more by primetime television. Call me old fashioned but I miss the days of primetime half-hour sitcoms followed by hour-long dramas at 10pm. To me, those were the days. I guess I was young and things seemed simpler then. But also, I rather think if I am going to sit down and waste an hour, I’d rather it be scripted material performed by professionals and shot by experienced techies.

CHRIS PUMMER: I think Akie’s comparison of 30 Rock to the dynastic Bulls of Michael Jordan is apt. Because while Community is brilliant, 30 Rock has been at least that brilliant for much longer now. Continue reading

Posted in Arts & Culture | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

In Briefs: BP

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Is BP really claiming that it is impossible to measure how quickly oil is coming out of a broken pipe?

Have they heard of physics? Do they thus not know how much oil they have when it’s flowing through a working pipe? WTF.

AKIE BERMISS: well Molly, maybe they’re talking about particle physics. like quantum mechanics style. and they’re saying you can’t measure how much oil is coming out of the pipe at any given moment because, you know, by observing it you change the nature of it. like, if we leave it alone, its possible — through the uncertainty principle — for there to be no oil coming out of the pipe at all. as soon as we try to measure how much oil coming out, then oil IS coming out.
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Also, since oil and water are both elements and both come from the Earth in some way, if you think about it in a philosophical Zen way, at some point those elements will become one, because of the nature of the universe, so really why are we even worrying about this?

AKIE BERMISS: isn’t that exactly what Rush Limbaugh said last week? Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

In Briefs: Hangovers

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Just curious, in TPP staff opinion, what form of booze causes the worst hangovers? I recall hearing that clear liquors like vodka were not as bad as brown liquors like bourbon. I seem to get worse red wine hangovers than white. I kind of wonder if there’s a science to this, or it’s all hearsay.

TED BERG: The worst hangovers on note are caused by Towne Club Vodka, exclusively available at Towne Liquors on Wisconsin Ave. in DC.

DAVE TOMAR: Any tequila from a plastic bottle. I spent a night with Cactus Jack once. I vomited so hard that I burst the blood vessels around my eyes. Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cheese Debate: Delicious or Disgusting?

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: I have a love/hate relationship with cheese. I love to eat it, but I hate how it settles into and amplifies my beer gut. And, just as I don’t see myself going off the sauce anytime soon, I cannot imagine quitting the cheese.

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I love cheese, with the deep, meaningful kind of passion that is reserved only for things that can be digested. After all, I love my fiancé too, but I don’t get to eat a plate of him with crackers at the end of a long hard day—and frankly, more’s the pity.

AKIE BERMISS: I don’t pretend I’m not a finicky eater. I am. If something is too mushy or too hard or too salty or too bland, and I have the option of turning it down: I will. I do not mess around. I only get to eat about twice a day and usually one of those is on the go to or from somewhere. I’ve had enough meals in my car, parked in a lot, to know the shame of scarfing down a fast food burger, fries, and a soda. I’ve eaten at highway rest stops and 4-star restaurants. I’m something of a food vagabond because I never really know where the next meal is coming from. And, as such, I consider myself to be the Foodie equivalent of a “prole” (see: 1984, Orwell). Still, I can be a downright bastard when it comes to eating things I don’t like. People who are fond of me call me: persnickety. Everyone else calls me a pain in the ass.

Well, be that as it may, at the top of my Hated Foods list is the world’s favorite: cheese.

DAVE TOMAR: There’s a special place in my heart for cheese. According to my cardiologist, the scientific name for that place is ‘the right ventricle.’ I was told that if I don’t cut down on my cheese intake, there is a good chance that my blood could coagulate, forming what I suspect will be a delectable soft camembert best served on crostini with fresh cranberry chutney and crushed walnuts. Continue reading

Posted in Arts & Culture | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments