MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Just curious, in TPP staff opinion, what form of booze causes the worst hangovers? I recall hearing that clear liquors like vodka were not as bad as brown liquors like bourbon. I seem to get worse red wine hangovers than white. I kind of wonder if there’s a science to this, or it’s all hearsay.
TED BERG: The worst hangovers on note are caused by Towne Club Vodka, exclusively available at Towne Liquors on Wisconsin Ave. in DC.
You might assume the “Towne Club” from which it got its name is some sort of olde-timey, members-only institution that served incredibly cheap hard liquor, but you’d be wrong. The Towne Club is the name of a physical club someone uses to beat you about the skull, neck and legs whenever you try to sleep off Towne Club Vodka.
Seriously, I’ve had all sorts of terrifying hangovers, but those are special. Downright amazing. It’s not just like you feel a little woozy and you have a headache; your eyes burn, limbs are randomly sore, and you feel like someone’s jamming a dagger into a very specific point on the back of your head. It’s weird.
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I prefer Ruble Vodka, which my friends and I pronounced “Rubble” vodka, because we insisted that it was made from the rubble of better vodka had been bombed to smithereens.
DAVE TOMAR: Any tequila from a plastic bottle. I spent a night with Cactus Jack once. I vomited so hard that I burst the blood vessels around my eyes. For days, I looked like a victim of domestic abuse.
AKIE BERMISS: Well, really, its fair to be skeptical of any liquor that comes in a plastic bottle. I’m not a fan of clear liquors, except for Gin. And, for whatever reason, I don’t really get hung over (could be that I’m in such poor condition that I don’t really feel any different after a long night of drinking). But when I do, its normally bad whiskey/bourbon’s fault. Wine has almost zero physical effect on me but I know a lot of my friends claim that red wine gives them horrible hangovers.
Don’t get it, myself. And I drink quite a bit, actually. So you’d think…
When I DO get sick, usually it’s from drinking too much and then I also usually have no idea WHAT I’ve been drinking. Also, drinking cocktails makes me a bit queasy to begin with. This is OBVIOUSLY more info that anyone needs, but I am exclusive to only three cocktails at this point: the dark & stormy (with real ginger beer), the martini (and a real martini is made with gin. a martini made with vodka is a vodka martini… there is NO SUCH THING AS A GIN MARTINI… that is just a martini… bartenders of the world, take heed… when I ask for a martini… don’t ask me if i want it with vodka or gin… I get very very mad), and finally: the negroni (which is, admittedly, a bit rare to find but a pleasure to drink, I assure you.)
All these mixology places…. Yech! My stomach twitches just to think of all the shit they put in their liquors… grumble grumble harumph.
JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: Now, I’m a beer girl. That said, I’ll pretty much drink anything. Still, the brown liquors = instant vomit to me. Clear ones are good. Gin is supreme. Red wine is awesome, white wins reminds me of bile. I have gotten ill from all of these things, though, so I’m kind of an expert on hangovers. Please feel free to ask specific questions.