SNL: Ashton Kutcher/Them Crooked Vultures
C O L D O P E N :
HOWARD MEGDAL: This one leaves me unimpressed. Pretty scattershot, and Gibbs wouldn’t appear on that panel, plus that isn’t remotely like Robert Gibbs. This one is overdone. Look, they show that Fox News is unbalanced. I already knew that. Even the Glenn Beck, by virtue of being material-free, wastes a good effort from Jason Sudeikis.
STEVE MURPHY: Not their worst… but not funny, either. Although I did enjoy looking at Abby Elliot. And I did enjoy the ‘I don’t hate all gay people, just the men’ line. Overall, another weak opening from SNL.
ZOË RICE: The best thing about this open was Attractive Blonde Lady, which made me chuckle. Unfortunately the overall affect was slow, with a couple decent moments but not enough.
M O N O L O G U E :
HOWARD MEGDAL: The one joke is Ashton Kutcher’s personality. This is going to be a long night.
STEVE MURPHY: I like Ashton Kutcher. But if I were making a list of things that are ‘awesome,’ I wouldn’t put any of those things on it. Except Superman drinking a daquiri served by a storm trooper bartender as Mark Twain gets punched in the balls by a little kid and spits it everywhere. That’s awesome. But given the complete and total freedom they were given, the other “awesome” things weren’t very interesting.
ZOË RICE: Bad acting. Nice legs.
A N G E L T H E P O O L B O Y :
HOWARD MEGDAL: The joke here is that sex with old people is disgusting. That’s the whole thing. Wow.
STEVE MURPHY: I have to admit, while the premise was shallow, the details really made me laugh. Specifically Bill Hader’s fantastic work as the straight-faced lawyer explaining the various STDs she’d given Angel, even the ones so old they have racist names. I admit I laughed out loud at the way Hader read “Soviet Hives.” I found this one pretty funny. Also great: no Kenan.
ZOË RICE: Again, I’m just not loving Ashton so far. This was pretty inane, although I did enjoy, “Give birth to a ghost?” But even worse? After this sketch finished, there came the promo for next episode’s host: Jennifer Lopez. Oy.
T H E V I E W :
HOWARD MEGDAL: How is this the same cast and writers? Already, I know exactly what this skit is as it starts. Enough. I can’t believe how long it was before Kutcher came on playing an utterly awful Mel Gibson.
STEVE MURPHY: I don’t get it… the studio audience seems to be laughing at just about every line. Maybe they don’t speak English? The View is no longer relevant, and none of these impressions are worth repeating. Ashton Kutcher’s Mel Gibson impression is particularly atrocious. He sounds like a little boy whose voice is changing.
ZOË RICE: Is this send up better if you watch The View? I just wasn’t tickled. Ashton gets the Mel Gibson expression okay, but the voice sounds like Fozzie Bear meets Scooby Doo.
C I A L I S F O R T H R E E W A Y S :
HOWARD MEGDAL: So the humor, for me, in Cialis commercials is the symbolism. Instead, this is a whole on-the-nose look at threesomes. What a waste of an idea that could have been fun.
STEVE MURPHY: I agree with Howard that they didn’t really hit the main joke here, but I did find a little humor in this one. Not a lot, but I chuckled at, “plus… there’s a little Xanax in there, to help you deal with the next morning’s fallout.”
ZOË RICE: I thought this was a decent idea, and I give it “most clever” sketch of the night.
G R A P E S :
HOWARD MEGDAL: A not funny, thin guy doing an imitation of Dom DeLuise from History of the World. Dear God, I can’t believe how not funny this is.
STEVE MURPHY: Oh, wow. What a total loser. Horrendous. A zero out of ten.
ZOË RICE: Will Forte’s silliness couldn’t carry this sketch, and it needed to. That said, I think we’ve found Ashton’s acting range.
T H E M C R O O K E D V U L T U R E S : M I N D E R A S E R
HOWARD MEGDAL: I’d think this was an outtake from “This Is Spinal Tap” if the lyrics were any good. Or intelligible.
STEVE MURPHY: Some people I know really, really love this band, and I don’t get it. I’m down with abrasive, noisy rock. I like Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters (to a point), Zeppelin, Nirvana and even Eagles of Death Metal, which I think covers every band these guys have ever been in. But there’s no melody here, and no hook. I can’t get into this band.
ZOË RICE: Should I know these people? It’s just so noisy. This is not my music.
W E E K E N D U P D A T E :
HOWARD MEGDAL: Pretty weak one-liners. Liam was a character who went nowhere. Spitzer more irritating than funny, and in the universal sign that they had nothing, a flimsy pretext for worse-than-usual Jean K. Jean. Fourth guest?!? Garth and Kat. I love both Wiig and Armisen, but at a certain point, cracking themselves up exclusively becomes, well, cracking themselves up exclusively.
STEVE MURPHY: Seth’s incredibly short list of supermajority victories was hilarious. Andy Samberg’s new “teenager who just woke up” character is something I’d like to see not ever come back, ever. Did he just think of that backstage? Was that ad-libbed? Bill Hader as Elliot Spitzer really made me laugh, and I’m officially dying for a Valentine’s Day card that mentions “animal rape.” I also want an emo puppy. Immediately. Jean K. Jean disappoints, which is sad because this is one of the two Kenan characters I enjoy (the host of “What Up With That,” since you’re asking). Plus Garth and Kat! I’ve gotta disagree with Howard, because I hurt myself laughing at this, just like I did for their Christmas appearance. Seriously, they could do this for the full hour and a half and I’d love every second. Armisen’s hair is its own awesome character.
ZOË RICE: Update was unusually long tonight, but it was just okay this week. Seth’s zingers lost some of their zip this go ’round. Liam the teenager who just woke up: Keep trying, Andy. Maybe you’ll find a different update character; are there more birds you can do? Eliot Spitzer: The cards were a fun idea with a few laughs, but I don’t love Bill Hader as Spitzer. Jean K Jean: It is possible I am blocked by my deep dislike of Kenan Thompson on screen. Garth and Kat! Love them! Cried with laughter. I do love that Armisen and Wiig can’t help but crack up, but they may have crossed the line here–this time I’m not sure they’re getting away with it. Still, one of my very favorite things on SNL, and I hope G&K keep coming back.
W H A T I S B U R N N O T I C E ?
HOWARD MEGDAL: This I liked. Not a great sketch, but a solid idea, well-executed. Sudeikis just right hosting the game show.
STEVE MURPHY: So first of all, I watch Burn Notice… and I have to say I find it ironic that SNL would make fun of the quality of any TV show in existence. So the joke here is that it’s popular but nobody knows about it? I guess for those of us, like me, who do know about it, the joke just doesn’t work. I mean… Bruce Campbell’s in it! It has to be good!
ZOË RICE: I laughed at the name of this game show. I can’t help wondering if SNL is trying to help NBC/USA promote Burn Notice, but I dig the idea of no one knowing what the hell this show is. And no, I don’t know either.
O S C A R N O M I N A T I O N S :
HOWARD MEGDAL: One joke, carried on for so long. Oh, I guess the second target is: Access Hollywood is a vacuous show. Zing! Nobody knew that!
STEVE MURPHY: I can’t put it any better than Howard, so I’ll just say: agreed.
ZOË RICE: Why ever did the Oscars expand their best picture noms? I did inwardly chuckle at Nasim Pedrad’s Maria Menounos laugh which, if you’ve heard it, makes you want to nail boards over your ears. Abby Elliot–why are all your impressions the same, and all in that “Abby Elliot doing an impression” voice? I was overall entertained, surprisingly, even though this was pretty much a one-joke wonder.
R A H M :
HOWARD MEGDAL: The only memorable part of this show. I love Samberg’s Rahm Emanuel, and desperately hope this is something approaching what Rahm actually said. This will be on politics retrospectives. Great job on a timely media firestorm.
STEVE MURPHY: Yes! Oh, man, that was amazing. That should have been your cold open, SNL! That’s how you set the pace for the show! Amazingly funny. I don’t even care that Samberg’s Rahm impression is really more of a Marky Mark impression.
ZOË RICE: Yup, I too loved Andy Samberg as Rahm Emanuel, in large part because I think the impression is more accurate than we know. I give this one a thumbs up.
T H E M C R O O K E D V U L T U R E S : N E W F A N G
HOWARD MEGDAL: This is the part of the Bar Mitzvah where they give out plastic guitars to the drunkest guests.
STEVE MURPHY: I liked this a lot more than the first track. It at least had a melody I could get behind, some hot guitarwork. I’d listen to this song again, for sure.
ZOË RICE: Better than the first song. Still not pleasant to my ears.
B A N D R E U N I O N :
HOWARD MEGDAL: I swear, I wrote that before this final sketch, a boring one where they are clearly making fun of the crap music, something they also did with The Ting-Tings. In short, I can’t believe the same writing staff put together last week’s masterpiece and this week’s horror show.
STEVE MURPHY: I’ll be honest… I’d listen to this song again, too. It rocked. And I really enjoyed this sketch overall. Sorry, Howard!
ZOË RICE: Oh look, it’s Dave Grohl. Oh, he’s in that band, okay. I know who one of those crooked vulture people is. I actually enjoyed this–a fun scenario with convincing middle aged hard rockers. A decent end to the show.
But where was the digital short!? I think this was a missed opportunity for a Kutcher/Samberg match up. And Ashton, the fun of having you host is that you bring friends. No Timberlake? Not even a Cameron Diaz? At least Demi. Ashton, you need back up. And no, your panties in the monologue didn’t count.