Fast Food Snobbery


AKIE BERMISS: I don’t want to get on a high horse about fast food. I just like it, is all. There are a few that I don’t care for, but generally speaking if I can drive up to a window and for a nominal fee come away, moments later, with a fist full of hot french-fries, then I’m a happy man. I go to fast food once or twice during a regular week. While I do like, I admit that I don’t usually get up in the morning with a hankering for McDonalds and go there for breakfast. More often than not, I’m driving home late at night, I haven’t eaten in hours, and I think to myself: McDonald’s would be pretty darned convenient right now. A short wait — and I’m off with a paper bag full of hot semi-nutritious (some people might argue that) goodness. Is it as good for me as a homemade meal made from purely organic products and grass-fed animal bits? Certainly not! But I don’t go to the movies to grow artistically either. Fast food is entertainment for my belly.

And I don’t like to think of it as a guilty pleasure. Not at all. There are things that I do about which I actually do feel guilty. And some of them do indeed bring me pleasure. I might draw the blinds and shut the lights before I watch French Kiss for the umpteenth time, but I don’t need to put on oversized glasses and alter my voice to order from my local drive through.

There’s this stigma of unhealthiness associated with fast food. Ok. Its not good for you. If you’re one of the converts who’ve seen “Super-size Me” , you’ll probably say its actually BAD for you. Sure sure. And I don’t mean to be a jerk, but how many other things do you do regularly that are not only “not-good” for you, but certainly “bad for you.” Let he who has not sinned throw the first stone! The world is full of people who drink alcohol and smoke (bad for you), watch at least two hours of television a night (bad for you), never pick up a book (bad for you!), and do drugs. People also like to listen to music too loud (bad for your hearing, you know), imbibe soft drinks (really, really bad for you), and microwave their meals (..!). Look folks, there’s a lot each of us can do to improve the “goodness” of our lives. I don’t exercise, I use foul language, and I like to eat candy. If I were to stop doing any one of those three things people might start to think to themselves: “Man, Akie is really improving himself!” But you know, I do cook for myself quite frequently. Well-rounded meals. Full of vegetables and fruits and nuts. Sometimes I drink green tea (its good for you!) And, you know, I think I have pretty good idea of what’s going on with my body on a regular basis.

Is all lost if I stop at Popeye’s for some chicken strips?!

What I’m battling against is, basically, big government. I’m a pretty liberal individual, but when it comes to regulating what people eat I have to draw the line. That’s not the way to nourish a proud and free populace. This IS America and you should feel free to eat to repletion and destroy yourself. If you want to drink only PBR everyday with breakfast, lunch, and dinner — I say go right ahead. I’d also say you were stupid, but I believe in your right to BE stupid. And fat. And lazy.

It’s worth remembering that not everyone is ourselves. And people do things differently. Some people work-out, every day. Eat only plants. And read books about alchemy. Yes. And they are free to do that too. I don’t really think its so healthy to do that either, but I dig that they’re going for it. Go on, You!

In truth, I guess, I believe in moderation. It makes me feel a bit lame to say it, actually, because to the hardcore part of me it sounds like such a cop out. I’m hardcore about quite a few things (French Kiss, for one), but I also acknowledge my fanaticism. I acknowledge that, as far as moderation is concerned, I drink too much coffee. And I smoke too many cigars. And probably read too many fantasy novels. Sure. But I think its saying something that I know these things to be too-too much. It means I have moderation in mind. That I have, at least, a balance perception of things. So that I know when I over-doing it or under-doing it.

And as part of that perception, I defend fast food. Its fast, easy, and conveniently located. Its cheap and (lets be honest) delicious. It doesn’t hurt to enjoy yourself a bit. Its not something you should feel guilty about. Ok — maybe that debatable. But not to me. Everything we eat produces waste — there’s a reason those waste-handlers are in place. When you’re conscious, sometimes you do things that aren’t in your best interest. Or in your COMPLETE best interest. But that part of the exciting of living and loving, is it not?

ZOË RICE: When I hear mention of McDonald’s, I generally want to make a face. Scrunched up nose, slightly furrowed brow. I’ve never craved fast food, and in truth I haven’t had all that much of it. But what I have had tends to make me sick. A McDonald’s burger will never fail to make my stomach queasy. What’s in that burger? What am I eating when I put it in my body? That’s what the face is about. Not about snobbery, but about health.

I was not raised on fast food. On a very rare occasion, we’d venture to Burger King or McDonalds on road trips, but I’ve still never been to White Castle or Taco Bell. As an adult, I’m grateful for this. My parents were concerned with health, but not to any militant extent. Mostly, we lived in an area where the fast food equivalent was pizza. And I will fully admit that I crave pizza all the time (though I indulge in moderation). But there’s something about seeing the dough being kneaded, the cheese and sauce being ladled out. As a junk food, non-chain pizza isn’t so mass produced that it comes in huge boxes, separated by gagillions of little white papers, made up of who knows what. I do wonder, though. If I were raised on a largely chain-food diet, is that what my body would crave?

I would never call myself a “foodie.” But I do pay attention to what goes in my body. Portions, ingredients, nutrients, fats. Shouldn’t we be able to keep tabs on those? I can’t help but imagine what the country’s obesity situation would be like if people knew what they were eating. Fast food can’t be beat in terms of convenience and price, and that’s got to be a contributing factor in our nation’s soaring rates of obesity and diabetes–in children as much as adults–over the past twenty years. For that reason, I would say one’s individual choice: “I will eat this 730 calorie Grilled Stuft Burrito with a side of 780 calorie Nachos BellGrande” does not only affect the individual. In part, it also contributes to an epidemic that has crippled our health care system. So although I realize it’s a gross simplification to say, “I can’t afford health insurance because you eat crappy,” sometimes, when in the depths of health care frustration, it can feel that way. Not completely unlike cigarette companies, the producers of these foods are potentially contributing to illness on a large scale–and in certain cases, even death.

But I have hope that a happy medium can be found that lets fast food lovers have their price and convenience and eat it (more) healthfully too. In New York, efforts have been made to eliminate trans fats from chain restaurants, and all chain menus are required to list calories. Why can’t these efforts be broadened nation-wide? When faced with at least a modicum of information about what they are eating, I do believe people will make a healthier choice. Taking a peek at the Taco Bell menu, for instance, there are plenty of options for 400 calories or less, and I would totally try those options. I can’t say I’d eat them often–I’m still thinking of the chemicals, preservatives, and large doses of sodium–but I’d like to know what the moderate choices are. Also, even more importantly, then the customer will see that the “Taco salad with salsa”—what someone actively searching for the “healthier option” might choose—is actually the worst item on the menu, containing 790 calories (that’s 20 calories more than a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese). Let’s start by nation-wide showing people what they’re eating. I’m not saying take it all away. Just inform us. Let’s take a first step and see if people’s decisions change.


TED BERG: I went to brunch at a fancy restaurant recently with a whole slew people who appeared to be trying to impress one another with esoteric orders.

I love food and to some degree, I appreciate New York’s burgeoning food-snob subculture. I have always been a destination eater, and now there is a great deal more information available to me about the city’s best dishes and hidden gems. Some of my best friends are food snobs, and I can buck up and chow down with the hungriest of them.

But at that brunch, when I mentioned that my recent move to Westchester had meant an unfortunate lack of fine-dining options but the spectacular return of Taco Bell to my life, someone snickered and another used the term “guilty pleasure.”

Hey, guy: Fuck you. Don’t tell me what I should feel guilty about. Taco Bell is delicious, and pleasure is pleasure. I recognize that there might be fundamental differences in the quality between a fine-dining experience and a fast-food joint, but there are also fundamental differences in the convenience and price. At Taco Bell, you can feed an army for $20 bucks in about 10 minutes.

That’s something to be celebrated.

And yeah, I realize that fast food isn’t the healthiest thing in the world. Guess what? That’s for me to worry about, not you. I am ultimately responsible only for my own health, and I can regulate my Taco Bell intake just fine. Plus, don’t act like everything at expensive restaurants is in some way inherently better for you.

Others will argue that Taco Bell should be avoided because it creates trouble for the American poor, feeding them so much unhealthy food at such low costs and contributing to the nation’s obesity problem.

My response? Whatever. First off, there are healthier alternatives available just as inexpensively at nearly every grocery store, and I am reasonably certain that if their Taco Bell was taken away, our nation’s fat would find some other cheap way to gorge themselves. Second, it is not really Taco Bell’s job to worry about the longterm health of Taco Bell consumers. Taco Bell is a business, and probably a pretty successful one. Its responsibility is to make as much money as it can; we should consider ourselves lucky that it opts to provide such an outstanding public service by feeding delicious tacos to so many.

On the Perpetual Post Radio show on Monday, Howard Megdal argued that the government should be held accountable for regulating what Taco Bell serves, especially, I assume, if it concludes that the prevalence of fast food contributes to the nation’s escalating healthcare costs.

And maybe that’s true, but whatever. It’s not my job to figure that out. Unless Taco Bell stops serving me such amazing food at such reasonable prices, I will continue eating and enjoying Taco Bell. And if the government wants to prevent that from happening, well, as I said on the show, they can have my Taco Bell when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Until that happens, I’ll be here, savoring the peppery notes of this Black Jack Taco and appreciating the playful texture of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Judge me all you want; I don’t care. You may think you’re better than me, but you don’t get to enjoy delicious Taco Bell.


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