Modern Family: Baby on Board – Season Finale

KIP MOONEY: Now that’s a season finale! If only the Modern Family writers could churn out scripts like this. This season especially has shown their tendency to peak around holidays and sweeps and coast the rest of the time. But this episode was fantastic.

The big story tonight was the birth of the child Cam and Mitch hope to adopt. They race to Calexico along with Gloria so she can help translate for the Spanish-speaking family. The scene at the hospital quickly turns into a spot-on telenovela, complete with slaps, revelations and melodrama.

Meanwhile, Haley drops a bombshell on her parents: In addition to taking a “gap year,” which she thinks means working a year at the Gap, she plans on moving in with Dylan. Claire and Phil each run down the worst-case scenario of this living situation: Claire’s ends with unplanned pregnancy; Phil’s ends with them wandering a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

There’s also some flimsy but sweet moments at Lily’s dance recital and Alex getting ready for prom, but those are pretty light and brief moments, though the latter provided one of the night’s biggest laughs. Alex’s date is an in-the-closet guy, but when Phil asks to take a second photo, this one with a little flash, he throws up his hands in an ultra-theatrical pose.

This finale hits all the bases we’ve come to expect from Modern Family: lots of jokes, quick-paced stories, and a healthy dose of heart. This episode gives me hope that the next season could reverse the slide it’s in.

BEST LINES (a few more tonight since it’s the finale and there were a bunch of good ones):

Cam, after Mitch claims they need someone who can actually speak Spanish: “Frío, muy frío.”

Claire: “You look adorable.”
Alex: “What am I? A puppy.”
Phil: “I got this. Honey, you look super-sexy.”
Alex: “Ew.”

Cam: “The backseat sits two car seats and a pig.”
Mitch: “Do not put a pig back here with the kids.”
Cam: “Please. It’s a unit of measurement on the farm, as in ‘That bed’s a two-pigger.’”

Alex: “Yes, my prom date is gay. But he doesn’t know it yet. So I guess that makes me his beard. Or pre-beard. I’m his stubble.”

Phil: “All the cool kids were laughing with us.”

Dylan’s plan to provide for him and Haley: “I know you’re concerned, but I’ve started designing T-shirts now. They’re gonna be huge. And small and medium.”

SEASON GRADE: B-
This was easily the weakest, most inconsistent season of the show.
BEST EPISODE: “Aunt Mommy”
WORST EPISODE: “Disneyland”