MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Qwikster? Can nothing EVER be spelled right anymore?!?!?!?!?! I’m sorry, that name stinks.

I know that letter was supposed to be heartfelt and honest, but somewhere along there it veered off into d-bag territory. Am I right here?

Something about the way they were so melodramatic about their freaking BRANDING:

“For me the Netflix red envelope has always been a source of joy. The new envelope is still that lovely red, but now it will have a Qwikster logo. I know that logo will grow on me over time, but still, it is hard. I imagine it will be similar for many of you.”

Oh, the era of Netflix as we know it is ending. Let’s all put our flags at half mast and have a moment of silence.

Also, the references to AOL Dialup and Borders bookstores as companies that are ‘great at something but not something new that people want’ seemed kind of mocking.

If he were really being honest, this paragraph:

“So we realized that streaming and DVD by mail are really becoming two different businesses, with very different cost structures, that need to be marketed differently, and we need to let each grow and operate independently.”

would read more like,

“So we realized that streaming and DVD by mail are really becoming two different businesses, and that we could break them apart and charge people more for each one, and make a shit ton of money that we could swim around in like Scrooge McDuck from Duck Tales.”

Yeah, I call BS on that letter. But I DO enjoy the fact that they are doing exactly what I said they would when they split up the pricing, which is realize that they did it in a really heavy-handed way and that a lot of people no longer support or trust their business anymore. The minute someone else offers the service for better pricing and with fewer two-faced emails from the CEO, Qwikster is going down, with the qwikness.

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