In Briefs: The Rapture

CHRIS PUMMER:  Anyone else have big plans for the rapture? I’m going to a White Sox game and might swing by for burgers at Kuma’s Corner. Don’t know if the rapture can rain out, but I’m worried the baseball might.

ZOE RICE:  It’s Gary Keith and Ron event night! Guest bartenders. If I go out, it’s with Ron Darling pouring me a drink.

DANI ALEXIS RYSKAMP:  The boyfriend and I are going to his parents’ house for the weekend.  They have a beautiful farm not far from Lake Michigan – exactly where I want to be when I am not swept bodily into heaven by Jesus.  (Also, barn kittens!)

MOLLY SCHOEMANN:  Huh.  Maybe I should stop cleaning up after my dog who has been vomiting everywhere.  I mean, why get out the steam-cleaner if I’m only going to be here another couple days?

ZOE RICE:  kittens???? pls. share pictures or viral them up on the youtube. You know, theoretically if there’s a next day.

HOWARD MEGDAL:  I am DEFINITELY not emptying the dishwasher.

DANI ALEXIS RYSKAMP:  Oh, there will be pictures.  Though there may not be any kittens after the Rapture.  After all, if there are no kittens in heaven, then it’s not really heaven.

MOLLY SCHOEMANN:  You mean, there may not be any GOOD kittens left after the rapture.

DANI ALEXIS RYSKAMP:  Oh, of course.  All the black kittens will still be here, as mentioned in the Gospel of Alice and the Looking-Glass.  (“One thing was certain, that the white kitten had had nothing to do with it: — it was the black kitten’s fault entirely.”)

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