MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Let’s entertain for a moment the outlandish notion that Obama is supporting the United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous People so that he can somehow give Manhattan back to the Native American population that used to occupy it and through them assume control of the island. I know that’s a lot to assume. But what’s even more presumptuous is the idea that said population would actually want Manhattan back at this point. I mean, would you?
Think about it. Manhattan is a far cry from the peaceful woodland it was when it was inhabited centuries ago by Native Americans. The only wild animals left are rats, squirrels and pigeons. There are now seven Starbucks to every one tree.
Nor is it a particularly resilient land any longer. Do you think 20” of snow would have practically shut-down Native-American occupied Manhattan for a week and reduced its early inhabitants to snarling, helpless shut-ins, furious that there are no cabs?
I can’t imagine a situation in which something would be offered back to the descendents of those it was taken from in more of a different state than Manhattan is now. Although the food and the public transit have both arguably improved, I believe many would admit that the ambiance is not what it used to be.
In conclusion, while it is the beloved city of my birth and I will always be devoted to it, at this point I’m pretty sure nobody would take Manhattan on a bet.