Author Archives: Jillian Lovejoy Lowery

In Briefs: Skins

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: How about all of the hype over MTV’s Skins being child pornography?

JESSICA BADER: I saw the first episode, and while there are some problematic aspects to the show (there was a scene in which the main group of characters accidentally drove a stolen car into a body of water and all emerged unscathed), it’s rated TV-MA. Nobody’s tuning into the show unaware that there’s content that’s inappropriate for younger viewers, and for all the hype over how they consult with actual young people to ensure realistic dialogue, the show just isn’t that good, and I refuse to believe that teenage slang circa now is as labored as it was made out to be in that first episode.

MOLLY SHOEMANN: I kind of feel like they want people to think that they took that Fiona Apple music video where all the sexually ambiguous Abercrombie teens are naked in the hot tub and the hotel room and turned it into a sitcom. Continue reading

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Rules of Dating

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: Here’s the thing about rules – I don’t really buy into them. I think that everything is circumstantial, so while it’s good to have general guidelines, I don’t cling to anything as law, and I won’t allow someone else’s ideology to dictate my behavior. And this is why I think Millionaire Matchmaker’s Patti Stanger’s first date rules are kind of bullshit.

AKIE BERMISS: When it comes to dating, I’ve been told I’m an outlier and that conventional stories don’t apply to me. Fair enough — that is likely true. But I pretty much disagree with any attempt by anyone to say that there are “rules” for a first date. There are so many areas of our day-to-day lives that are governed by rules and regulations and guidelines. Must we include the search for love among those? Must we carefully edit ourselves in order to seem more desirable to prospective significant others? I don’t buy it. Especially when it is aimed at women — who have historically been the group most regulated in how they approach love and romance. Continue reading

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On Being Competitive

HOWARD MEGDAL: To me, the pleasure I get from playing a board game or bowling with friends comes inversely to how successful I am at it. For me, such times are an opportunity to make fun of whoever is losing. If it is me, I can do so with abandon. If it is someone near me, I’m a jerk for making the same jokes.

In other words, losing is merely a gateway to doing what I really want.

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: Generally, I’m a pretty laid back kind of person. I’ve got a long fuse, and I pick my battles wisely. Unless, of course, board games are involved. In that case, I will rip your fucking eyes out.

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: When you get right down to it, there are two kinds of people: Those who always seem to end up yelling at everyone while playing Scrabble, and those who don’t.

As someone who tends to be on the less competitive end of the spectrum, I’ve often wondered why this is and where this tendency came from. I have always been the kind of person who is extremely unconcerned about coming in dead last during a round of mini-golf.

DAVE TOMAR: When I lose, I am a fist-pounding jerk. I can’t believe it. The dice screwed me. The deck had it out for me. How could you call with those cards?!? Is this table leveled? I think my cue is warped. You used all your letters on that word? That isn’t a real word. Ok, the dictionary says the word is real, but it’s totally a bullshit word. You should be ashamed of yourself, winning that way. Continue reading

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In Briefs: Highest-Paid Authors

JILLIAN LOWERY: This list of the best-paid authors makes me queasy.

DANI ALEXIS RYSKAMP: Horrible, I agree. Especially as I think I’ve heard the name James Patterson, but certainly couldn’t tell you one of his big hits. At least Michael Crichton, for example, has written a load of crap people can identify.

Frankly, I would like to see a bestselling female author on this list who ISN’T writing lame-ass romance novels.

AKIE BERMISS: re: Bestselling Authors — i’m a scifi nut. so i’m not sure i really relate to this list. though i currently have four books lined up (in three different fantasy series), my most recent purchase was the first volume of the Shelby Foote Civil War books. which i intend to read through the fall… as i smoke cigars and admire the foliage. These names do make me cringe. did i ever post the link with the best selling books my metropolitan area? that’s more alarming, if you ask me.

HOWARD MEGDAL: Allow me to make the alternate argument.

While we may not like all the products being produced by the authors, they are writers making huge sums of money.

Is this not far better than living in a world where no one producing new written words can earn a ludicrously lavish sum of money for doing so? Continue reading

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Super Sad True Love Story: Shteyngart’s Latest

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY: I love Gary Shteyngart. I’m just not quite yet sure what I thought about Super Sad True Love Story.

HOWARD MEGDAL: At the risk of disagreeing with Jillian, I found Super Sad True Love Story to be both his best book to date, and the most important work. While Absurdistan does a fantastic job lampooning what has just happened in the world, Super Sad gives the identical treatment to what is to come if we aren’t vigilant- and perhaps, even if we are. Continue reading

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In Briefs: Underwear

LAURA ROBERTS: Ugh. Just say no to both granny panties AND buttfloss. How about a nice hipster that covers the bum *and* looks like you could use it as a bikini bottom in a pinch?

NAVA BRAHE: So, does this mean the end of low-rise and the return of “normal” rise? I just wish we could come up with something better than “granny panties”. Any thoughts? The caffeine hasn’t quite kicked in yet. Continue reading

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In Briefs: Condiments/Are Certain Foods Ethnic or Just Geographic?

NAVA BRAHE: I think putting mustard on hamburgers should be illegal.

HOWARD MEGDAL: Regarding mustard, the perfect condiment, I weep over how misguided you are. Continue reading

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Body Modification

NAVA BRAHE: Getting inked is something I’ve given a lot of thought to for a very long time.

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY:I got my first tattoo at age 19 from a man named Bear who worked at a shop on Venice Beach. Once I returned home to New Jersey, my mother cried for three days. That’s not an exaggeration. Three days.

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Do I want to order burger for lunch, or a chicken sandwich? Or maybe the pulled pork, that looks good too! But I should just get a salad, they’re cheaper. No, I definitely want a burger. Or maybe soup?

Welcome to the mind of someone who should never get a tattoo.

SARA WELSH: Tattoos are an expensive and wonderful addiction.

KRYSTEN OLIPHANT: I have two tattoos. One has a story, the other doesn’t. It’s funny, really. Continue reading

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In Briefs: Kings of Leon

JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY:Hey, musicians. If a pigeon crapped in your mouth, would you play three songs and then cancel the rest of the show? Kings of Leon did.
DAVE TOMAR:Crap going into Kings of Leon’s mouth? I think it’s an upgrade. Only 3 songs? These fans got off easy. Continue reading

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JILLIAN LOVEJOY LOWERY I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I’m not a naturally pretty girl.

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Makeup has long been a mystery to me. How can some women end up wearing it every day, and others don’t know what most of it is? Falling into the latter category, I am both jealous and suspicious of women who wear make up all the time and who are good at applying it. How did they learn? Why do they do it? Should I be doing it? Should they stop?

ZOË RICE: For a while, back in 2004-2007, I was one of the internet’s go-to people for cosmetics and skin care reviews. I called myself “Real Girl,” because like you (perhaps) I was no expert, just a gal who happened to research product ingredients, experiment with application processes, and report back on every single product and article of makeup I tested. Continue reading

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